Alt-text (main): A young woman with her hands over her heart.
Photo by wayhomestudio
Caption: Let us all try to be as forgiving as the Lord.
What the Bible teaches about forgiveness and grace can change a life. It is not just a nice idea we hear about in church, but a real power that fixes broken hearts and broken homes.
Ashley D. Wille’s powerful story, My Journey Through the Cross, teaches us how forgiving as the Lord is, the secret to being truly kind. It is hard to be tenderhearted when we are holding onto old pain. But when we look at God’s grace and mercy, we see a different way to live.
Ashley teaches that we cannot earn God’s love by being perfect. We can only receive it. Once we receive it, we can finally give it away to others.
Alt-text (second): A Christian praying over the Bible.
Photo by jcomp
Caption: Let us all try to be as forgiving as the Lord.
Putting Away Bitterness
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. —Ephesians 4:31
Before we can be kind, we have to clean out our hearts. Bitterness is like a heavy weight, and Ashley knows this struggle well. She writes about the anger she felt when life was not fair, when she felt trapped in her own marriage. This pain made her feel like a prisoner.
Here is what we learn about starting this process:
- Bitterness hurts us more than anyone else. It blocks our ability to feel joy.
- We must admit we are angry. Ashley learned to be honest with God about her rage. She writes about throwing a “fit of fury” at God and, instead of punishing her, He held her tightly. This is what the Bible teaches about forgiveness and grace.
- Confession is not just saying sorry. It is agreeing with God that the anger is there so He can take it away.
You cannot be tenderhearted if your heart is full of rocks. The first step in how to forgive like God is to let Him take the rocks out. We have to give Him our bad attitude. Then, He starts to soften us.
Kindness and Tenderheartedness
And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. —Ephesians 4:32
This verse is the heart of the book. Being “tenderhearted” means having a soft heart. It means we do not look for revenge. Ashley explains that many people get stuck in religion. They try hard to be good, but they forget to be loving. She warns against “Churchianity.” This is when we go through the motions without really knowing Jesus.
To truly understand Christian Scriptures on forgiveness, look at the phrase “even as.” We forgive the same way God forgave us. Think about how God forgives you:
- Completely: He does not hold back.
- Freely: You did not pay Him back.
- Permanently: He does not bring it up again later.
Forgiving as the Lord means we offer that same deal to others. It is not about pretending the hurt did not happen, but about canceling the debt.
As Ashley grew closer to God, she realized she did not have to be the judge anymore. She could simply let God be God.
This kindness is not weakness: it is the strength of God living inside us.
Letting Go of the Rocks
“Judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. —Luke 6:37
Have you ever tried to carry a heavy bag? If you have, you know that it wears you out. Carrying unforgiveness is just like that, making every step of life harder.
These are heavy burdens that the enemy throws at us to make us drown.
She says that if we try to carry these burdens ourselves, we will sink. We become fearful and anxious.
Learning to forgive others Biblically means dropping those rocks.
Ashley learned to ask God for help, even in small things like finding a lost sock. When God showed up for those small things, she trusted Him with the big pains too.
The Biblical meaning of forgiveness is “release,” where you open your hands, not having to hold onto the offense anymore. When you drop the rock, your hands become empty, and when your hands are empty, you can finally lift them up to worship God.
You cannot clap or praise God with fists full of anger.
Simply: you must let it go.
The Secret of God’s Grace
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. —Hebrews 4:16
Ashley makes a strong point about God’s grace and mercy. Grace is getting a gift you do not deserve, while mercy is not getting the punishment you deserve.
Ashley had a hard time accepting this at first because she grew up thinking she had to be perfect to be loved.
Many of us think the same way. We think if we forgive those who trespassed against us, they win. Or we’re vindictive about it, thinking we’ll only forgive them if they have apologized sufficiently.
But that is not how to forgive like God.
Here is the truth that sets us free:
- Forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling. You decide to do it, even if it hurts.
- God gives you the power to do it. You do not have to find the strength inside yourself. You ask Him for it.
- It protects your future. Ashley writes that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
We can be kind because God has been so kind to us, and we can be tenderhearted because the Holy Spirit lives in our hearts.
Alt-text (third): A woman embracing someone in forgiveness.
Photo by Drazen Zigic
Caption: Let us all try to be as forgiving as the Lord.
How to Live a Forgiven Life
In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace —Ephesians 1:7
So, how do we actually do this? How do we wake up and be kind when the world is so mean? Ashley suggests we need to change our focus. We have to stop looking at ourselves and start looking at Jesus. She calls it “stilling” the soul. This means we quiet down all the noise in our heads.
What the Bible teaches about forgiveness and grace is simple:
- Remember what you were saved from. You were lost, but God found you.
- Talk to God all day long. Ask Him to help you not get angry.
- Worship. When you sing or pray, it is hard to stay mad.
Forgiving as the Lord saved Ashley’s life and saved her marriage. She learned to set boundaries and learned to speak the truth in love. Despite all that, she did not become a doormat but became a daughter of the King.
Because she knew who she was, she could afford to be generous and could afford to overlook an insult.
The world tells us to get even, but the Bible tells us to get free. Freedom is better than being right, and freedom is better than winning a fight.
If you are ready to drop the heavy rocks and put on the soft heart of Christ, you need to read My Journey Through the Cross.
